Is There A Really Mean Girl Living In Your Head? 3 Ways To Change Your Thoughts

     Over the past weekend, I went on a girl’s trip with friends from college.  I was kind of shocked to hear how ugly some of them talk to themselves.  I guess I’ve worked really hard on catching myself when my inner mean girl comes out.  

     See if any of these sound like your inner mean girl.  I heard things like:

  • My thighs are huge!
  • How can I work out so much and still have cellulite?
  • Don’t take pictures of me, I look awful!
  • Your butt is not big, mine is huge.
  • I’m so dumb, I can’t figure that out.
  • I’m so stupid!
  • I’m so clumsy!
  • You look great, but I could never wear that.
  • You’re so skinny, you get in front of me for the picture.
  • My skin is so dark.
  • My skin is too light.
  • Spray tans cover fat.

 Yikes! She’s really mean!  It made my heart hurt for these beautiful souls.  I can’t imagine not having any of them in my life and I would want to beat up anyone who talked to them that way!  

I told a few of them that we were going to have to work on the way they talk to themselves.  Here is my advice to them and I’m sure some of you can use it too, if you are anything like I used to be.

  1.  The child test-  Would you ever say that to your child? or any child?  If not, chances are, it is just too mean.  Don’t say it to yourself.
  2. The friend test- Would you say that to a friend?  Would she still be your friend? No? Then don’t say it to yourself.
  3. Reframe it- Catch yourself saying a negative thought and spin it into something more positive.  Instead of saying, “My thighs are huge!”, say “I am exercising and becoming a better me every day.”  Instead of, “I’m so stupid”, say “That’s hard for me, but I can figure it out.”  In place of, “I look awful, don’t take pictures of me.” say “This is a once in a lifetime trip and I’m doing the best I can right now.” 

     You get the idea.  Life is hard and we need to give ourselves some grace.  Each of us has a purpose in this world. 

     This is another reason I love simple changes, because you don’t have such a sense of failure as when you can’t follow through with complicated workouts and eating programs.  You are less likely to just give up and when you say to yourself, “I am becoming a better me every day!”, it’s really true.

     If you want to hear more about reframing thoughts and simple habit changes, be sure to join my Facebook group here:  



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